Evil Baby Powder
by Subject8
Summary: Hiei needs baby powder due to the itchy human clothes. But is this normal baby powder? Oneshot, Hilarious! Rated K plus for language.


**Disclaimer:** I don't own Yu-Yu-Hakusho (or the product used in the story), only the plot.

**Summary: **Hiei needs baby powder due to the itchy human clothes. But is this normal baby powder?

**Warnings:** None

**Miscellaneous:** I got this story idea from a scenario that happened to me at the job (Long story short: the customer asked me for it and I thought it was the most hilarious item I have ever heard of). I looked it up and ta-da, the stuff is actually real!

THIS IS MY FIRST ONESHOT EVER! Dude, I can write short stories (stories that can be read in one day). But I could never seem to write a story that only needs one "chapter". I hope I didn't do too bad! **So it would be highly appreciated if I got some comments :)!**

Either way, I make Hiei look like a total dumb ass in this story. But honestly, remembering that he is a demon FROM demon world, you would not blame him for acting like this. Really, you wouldn't! Hope you enjoy reading this just as much as I enjoyed writing it!

* * *

**~ Evil Baby Powder ~**

Another typical day in the human world, but due to the rain the night before Hiei was drenched, and dew was starting to form on his clothes. Learning from the last time he had stayed out in the rain too long he decided to go to the fox's house and get the small problem fixed.

"Hiei, you know it's going to rain tonight as well. You might as well stay here for a few days." Kurama spoke with the obvious facts, rummaging through his clothes to find something for Hiei to wear after he showered.

"Hn." Was his only response as he jumped in the shower.

Fifteen minutes later Hiei came back out, dried off, and went into Kurama's room to find a set of pajamas neatly laid out. He put them on and walked down the stairs to meet Kurama in his kitchen.

Kurama turned around to spot Hiei practically scratching his arm off. "Uh, is something wrong Hiei?"

"What are you talking about, fox?" Hiei stared up at the kitsune who decided to stop cooking to stare at him.

"You're scratching. Scratching so much that your skin is becoming red."

Hiei looked down to see his left hand scratching his right arm. He didn't notice.

"It must be these damned human clothes." Hiei started to scratch the rest of his body as he started to realize his whole body was starting to itch.

"That is a possibility since you are not use to human fabric. I think I know what will help." Kurama walked out of the room and came back in less than a min empty handed. "Looks like I'm out. I will go pick some up before the storm hits." Kurama grabbed his wallet and quickly ran out the door.

"Wait! What am I suppose to…" The door slammed shut. "Hn…"

* * *

Kurama speed walked to the market to find it closed. Sighing, he slowly walked back towards his house trying to think of a store that would be open at 11:30 at night selling the product he needed. That's when he walked past an American store that he never bothered to notice. The light was on and there was a clear sign in the window that blinked OPEN. Shrugging his shoulders he decided to give it a quick scan.

Walking in he was greeted by a straggly 'hello'. He walked to the counter and greeted the one person in the store.

"Konichiha. Um, I was wondering if by any chance if you sold baby powder? I need it for a friend." Kurama smiled sincerely.

"Eh? What's it for?" The guy glared at Kurama with one eye.

Instantly becoming a little uncomfortable Kurama gave a slight blush. "Oh, nothing really. Just itching and irritation." Kurama gave the worker a weary smile.

"Riiight. Here, use this instead." The man left the counter came back, but instead of the bottle being white and square it was yellow and round. He dropped the bottle into a paper bag. "Two-fifty. ($2.50)" The man announced the price.

"Uh may I look at it?" Kurama reached for the bag.

"We have no baby powder here! This is better anyways, and still the same price. Two-fifty." The man waved his hand in front of Kurama's. "If don't like, come back tomorrow for refund."

Giving a small groan Kurama paid and left the store for his house.

* * *

"Alright Hiei I'm back."

"It's about dam time!"

Kurama stopped in his tracks to see Hiei scratching his back on the floor, using the rug for fricition.

"Hiei, stop that you are going to get rug burn." Kurama warned. "Now, take off your shirt so I can put this on you." Kurama tossed the paper bag to Hiei as he went back into the kitchen to reheat the food he had heated up before he left for Hiei.

"WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?" Hiei yelled almost at the top of his lunges.

Kurama popped his head out of the kitchen. "It is supposedly another form of baby powder."

Hiei narrowed his eyes reading the label. "Anti-…monkey…butt…powder… WHAT THE FUCK?" Hiei tossed the bottle at Kurama. "What kind of trickery is this? Are you trying to turn me into some type of humiliating creature?"

Kurama looked down at the bottle, with a sweat drop falling as he looked at the monkey with its back turned to you sticking its butt out, nice and red, with a thumb up. The label reading exactly: Anti Monkey Butt Powder.

"Well… Hiei… if it was to do that, I highly doubt that is what it would do, considering that it says…"anti". But it's just baby powder. I did research on my phone before I brought it home and it is supposedly more medicated than baby powder. Just put it on. It will stop the itch."

"I am not putting that shit on! I swear that crap is some type of curse the humans set on it!" Hiei glared at the, supposedly, evil bottle.

"Hiei, you're acting ridicules. Humans have no such power. And even if they did they wouldn't sell it in a convenient store for such a low price. They aren't THAT stupid." Kurama compromised.

"I am not putting that on!" Hiei hissed at the bottle.

"It's medicated baby powder!" Kurama was starting to lose his patience.

"Oh? So there is one that makes you a baby too huh?" Hiei was backing up still glaring at the bottle.

Yet another drop of sweat fell from Kurama's head as he did a face palm.

Sighing Kurama gave up and decided one way or another Hiei was going to have the powder put on. "Hiei if you don't calm down and just take off the shirt, I'll be forced to do it…by force." Kurama emphasized the second force.

"TO HELL YOU WILL!"

"HIEI!"

Crashes, yelling, and curses suddenly filled the night as they battled out… to put the anti monkey butt powder on.

* * *

TRY SAYING THAT WITH A STRAIGHT FACE! ANTI MONKEY BUTT POWDER! ANTI MONKEY BUTT POWDER! God I'm so weird.


End file.
